Starting my Spiritual Journey

Foundation, birth, emergence, a new beginning.

Feeling green to any new topic, idea, or manifestation is challenging. As humans, we strive to be intellectual about anything we are drawn to. This sense of excitement was something that came later down the line during my spiritual journey. At first, I felt a sense of urgency. 

My body was keeping the score – I was packed full of trauma and unresolved physical pain. In the late summer of 2018, the vibrant life that I had experienced was gone, completely dissolved. Since then, my search for tools to cope with my mental health is basically the only thing I’ve focused on. My body was screaming for help, but I had almost no idea how to listen. 

My body and soul were sending messages.

Medication – Zoloft, Remeron, Vyvanse, and Lexapro; I felt numb, but my body was still sending painful signals. 

Weekly acupuncture, the 45 minutes after felt incredible, then my body was back to square one. 

Cognitive-behavioural therapy offered a new trustworthy relationship, I could identify what causing me pain, but still couldn’t seem to regulate my central nervous system. 

Yoga and running were a great way to cope for a portion of the day but offered no long-term relief. 

Two years into these various tools, I was completely exhausted. This is where I wake up, with one word, body. Also, by no means am I looking to undermine the value of medication or any activity above, they are all useful. And yes, as we all know, our circumstances (i.e., a relationship, your living situation, a chronic illness) all play a role in how you show up each day. It is not always so simple. 

My awakening will sound cliché, and maybe it was, but I am awake now, aren’t I? That happens to be all that matters. I was introduced to a young lady who had been resilient through her journey here on earth. She was committed to her mental health, but she also held a sense of peace. Initially, she showed me the value of the way we speak to ourselves. This young lady was connected to her golden light, spirit guides, and listening to the signals her body were sending. I began to wonder if she was sent to me as a gift. I never had really taken this idea of “gifts” seriously, but in that moment, I did. 

Oprah Winfrey has a podcast, “Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations”. Oprah is also resilient; she is a deeply spiritual woman. I always thought, “Oprah might be spiritual, but there is no way she is THAT spiritual. I mean, after all, she’s Oprah”. Among many of Oprah’s episodes, she had an interview with Eckhart Tolle. Immediately following the podcast, I ordered the first of his many books. 

“Observe how the mind labels a thought and how this labeling process, this continuous sitting in judgment, creates pain and unhappiness. By watching the mechanics of the mind, you step out of its resistance patterns, and you can then allow the present moment to be. This will give you a taste of inner freedom from external conditions, the state of true inner peace. Then see what happens, and take action if necessary or possible”. -Ekhart Tolle

Ekhart Tolle is internationally known as a spiritual guru and renowned author. Tolle’s, The Power of Now, offered an incredible perspective; if I am to focus my conscious mind on the five senses (taste, smell, touch, see, and hear), I have an incredible opportunity to settle into being. It is quite incredible how looking at my hands, listening to an eerie silence, or truly feeling the surface my feet are settled on, can transform the present moment. 

I began to realize how powerful my thoughts are, and when utilized properly, that power can be used to my advantage. Humans are emotional animals with a need to analyze and truly feel what shows up in our physical bodies, but it is also our most incredible challenge. I asked myself again and again, “can this process of awakening be as simple as choosing joy, choosing the present moment, or choosing to let my golden light shine”? Well, in my experience, it happens to be true. Following my new awareness, the excitement I talked about earlier began to set in. I was beginning to understand my mind and judgement process. I began to accept my power and allow my body to welcome peace and the current reality. This realization – this acceptance – was exciting, and still is.

With years of learning about the practice of spirituality ahead of me, I am more than confident that the new skills I have adopted, by choice, will lead me to a space where I can share my joy with myself and those around me, without physical limits. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *